PRESIDENT HARRIS ANNOUNCES 'BRIDGE TO MEXICO' INITIATIVE
OPPOSITE DAY NEWS:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning reversal of border policies, President Kamala Harris has announced her administration’s first major infrastructure project: The Bridge to Mexico Initiative. With the cooperation of Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum, this bold plan would replace Trump’s unfinished border wall with a sprawling, high-speed travel and commerce superstructure connecting the U.S. and Mexico.
President Harris successfully persuaded Congress to slash the U.S. military budget by half, aligning it with China’s more efficient $222 billion defense allocation in a groundbreaking move. This historic shift frees up a staggering $600 billion because, as Harris said, “No Defense Contractor needs ten homes and five yachts.” By allocating the new funds toward funding the North American Unity Highway, this will transform the border into a hub of connectivity and progress.
“Our goal is to undo the mistakes of the past and turn the border from a symbol of division into a gateway of opportunity,” Harris declared in a press conference, flanked by Vice President Tim Walz and a mariachi band for added effect. “Instead of a useless, crumbling wall, we will build a bridge that brings people together—literally. With advanced cities, the freedom to come and go with our new high-tech passport wristbands. Heck, going to the border itself is going to be a destination experience. And we will see the blending of two beautiful cultures coming together.”
According to official blueprints, the Bridge to Mexico will feature multiple pedestrian and vehicle lanes, hiking trails, lay-over cabins, high-speed rail, and bilingual toll booths accepting universal basic income credits—a new initiative expected to be announced tomorrow. The project will also employ millions of Americans and immigrant workers.
Predictably, opposition voices were quick to react. Former President Donald Trump, broadcasting live from his Mar-a-Lago house arrest, fumed: “This is the worst deal in history! Bridges are for suckers! Real leaders build WALLS! Everybody knows that!” Meanwhile, Fox News claimed the bridge would be used primarily to transport radical leftist ideas and ethically sourced avocados into American suburbs.
The North American Unity Highway bridge is expected to break ground next month. Stay tuned for updates as Harris unveils phase two of the initiative: The Freedom Bridge to Canada.
